Long story short: I’m different.

Ripple effects come from everything that happens in life. After John died, any time someone would say, “Everything happens for a reason,” I wanted to punch them in the face. However, that phrase is what I live by now. I have to. Otherwise, I’d go insane. For example, the trauma I endured as a child could have been the reason I was able to live through John’s death. I look at it in the way of it preparing me. The reason I have such a strong “no bullshit” attitude is because I witnessed so much abuse be “swept under the rug,” growing up. If I stood up for anyone back then, I got backlash from hell. To say the least, it doesn’t go like that anymore. I will say it a million times over, I HATE child abuse and elderly abuse. Those are probably the only two things that are able to get me actually mad. When I’m mad, I can get very ugly. I’m not ever going to deny that. When I love, I love hard. I stand up for the weak. THAT is the main reason I’m the “Black Sheep.”

If you notice in the picture above and also by me directly letting it be known, I’m in the entertainment industry. Considering where I come from, THAT is probably just about the worst thing anyone could possibly do. Granted I’m in many other business endeavors, that just happens to currently be my main. I’ve worked my ass off for everything I’ve done. Yes, I’ve graduated college, but I’ve also heavily educated myself. It didn’t seem like it at the time, but 2020 was probably the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Not only have I broken the cycle of abuse years ago, now I’m leaving behind a generation of success. I’m teaching my children to be GOOD humans. I’m not “throwing Jesus around” to hide my true self. I’m real. Now that whole Jesus statement may not make sense to many, but it will to one, and that’s all that matters. 🙂

Becoming the “Black Sheep” was just something I concluded years ago. I know I say it enough, but I have to say it again. I EMBRACE THE FK OUT OF IT! It wasn’t anything I set out to do, but knowing that I am everything “someone else” is not is one of the best feelings in the world. That rebelliousness in me from the time I was little turned into an amazing thing. It gave me a drive and ambition in life I don’t think I would have ever had. If we’re being real and cutting the bullshit, I’m currently the most hated person in a part of my family due to a situation that has recently unfolded involving a baby. The one where I was the only one who would take in and kept safe for the time being. I’m not going to go into that at the moment. My kids and I really do miss my parents, and it really pisses me off as to why we can’t see them, or even speak with them for that matter. The third party involved. I don’t speak on that yet, because I do try my best to keep my mouth shut when I have a lot of anger towards a person or situation. I’ll get there eventually….hopefully. Right now, I’m straight up furious.

Not being able to see my parents doesn’t only hurt me, it hurts my kids. That’s another one. It’s not the smartest thing in the world to hurt my kids…like at all. That’s about the time Jesus should be thrown around, or at, as I’m chasing you. Just a joke, calm down. In other words, any time I’m hurt, it fuels me. I can choose the way it fuels me. I use it for the better. So thank you. You have pushed me to do so much more than I ever knew I was capable of. At twenty-nine years old, you are still pushing me to do better, to go beyond my limits, and get me to step so far out of that toxic comfort zone people like to stay in. Ultimately, my success will be because of me; however, it will be the drive you gave me without you even knowing it.